Measuring Stick

So my Awesome August isn't quite going as planned. This last week I've just completely lacked in the trying department. I didn't track my calories, I didn't really track my fitness (even though I did work out) and basically stepped back and chilled. I really thought I would not be happy with what the scale had to tell me. But it wasn't as bad as I thought. Actually I had lost a pound, which considering my week is pretty good. When I don't track my food, I don't usually do well.

I realized I was putting undo pressure on myself to reach a certain number by a certain date. Too much pressure. Its one thing to have goals its another to be putting a crazy amount of pressure on yourself knowing the goal is probably just out reach. I mean I want goals to keep myself motivated but I had gotten to the point of weighing more than once per day, eating crazy low calories (which in my head I know doesn't work) and exercising like crazy to burn up 1000 calories per day. Even though I like to believe I'm a kinda smart cookie, I wasn't being smart about this. And true to form I got frustrated and felt so defeated after the whole scale situation. I felt so defeated to know that I am doing all this and saw so little results on the scale.

This morning I got up and decided to re-evaluate my goals as to what would make August Awesome. Is the number on the scale more important that feeling good? The inches I've lost so far tell a greater story than the scale. What would make me say that I succeeded in the month of August?

The answers: the number on the scale is important because it is an indicator of my health, but if I am feeling better, stronger and more energized then I have succeeded. And lets be honest here, any loss is a success right? The inches I've lost make my heart sore! I love that my clothes fit better and some clothes that didn't fit now do. I shouldn't measure success by the scale, the scale is just the product of my success.

My success is my daily achievements off the scale, like staying in my calorie range, eating nutrient dense food, hitting my calorie burn and exercise goals for the month. I have to remind myself this is about getting healthy, not a race to the finish line.

So it is going to be an Awesome August regardless of the scale. My measuring stick is no longer a board on the floor.

Weight In:
~~Wii Board 319.1
~~Scale 324.7

BLAH!!

That's how I feel today. Just BLAH! I did some yoga, some strength training and some Wii, but I am not sure my heart was in it. I feel like I am stuck. Every time I make progress, I take two steps back.

I want to lose weight. I want to be healthy. I just feel like I keep hitting a wall. I am still working toward my goal but I am not having as much confidence that I'm going to make it.

I wanted to do a cleanse from the book I'm reading. I got the supplies and I did really well all day yesterday even though I was starving and weak. Until last night. I had only had 480 calories (8 servings of black grapes) all day and water. I was shaking. At the time I felt like I needed to eat something else or I was really going to hurt myself. So I ate. Then came the guilt. I still feel guilty today. I feel like I gave up. I did read further in my book and realized I am probably not in a healthy condition to do that but I can't help but feel guilty. So this morning my little son was eating a donut and so I had a few little donut holes too (total emotional eating). Now the guilt has compounded.

Even though I am feeling rather BLAH, I will make this a good day. I will eat healthy and make sure that my calories are in range and also that I am exercising the way I know I need too. I must keep pressing forward.

This is me pushing back t

Discouraged

I am discouraged today. I thought I was making BIG progress and dropping serious pounds. Turns out I'm not. I think my Wii board is messing up. Yesterday it gave me an eight pound loss in two days. Today a seven pound gain. I think its because I (unintentionally) weighed last week with the Wii board on my yoga mat and thats what I've been doing and its too squishy for that. When I set it back on the floor it gives me a weight of 321 not 312. I'm very sad. I have been working so hard, apparently not hard enough. I do have the consulation that I am losing inches.

So back to the drawing board and a new scale. I am still determined to make my goal but I'm not nearly where I thought I was or wanted to be. I refuse to give up though. I maintain my goal of 299 by September 1st! I just need to change things up.

Any suggestions??

The Mirror Got to Me, But Not the Tape Measure!

Yesterday was kind of, well, I went from being kind of on high to touching ground again.

I get so very excited about progress. Pounds lost, inches melted away and I get to where I am just floating. Yesterday morning that was me. I was just on high. Super excited! Then I took a good look in the mirror. A really good look. And I came back to earth.

I am not sad, depressed or frustrated. Just livin' in reality. I remembered (not that I truly forgot), how far I have to go. Its a long journey. I don't like the way I look. I want it GONE, NOW! But alas, it doesn't work that way!! LOL Unfortunately gaining weight is as easy as putting that doughnut in my mouth but losing that doughnut takes hours of work, lots of determination and pain! I enjoy exercising, but I can't say I love it, yet. I'm getting there. Yesterday was a pivotal point because usually when I start to think of the LONG road ahead, I get discouraged and grab a ding dong. I didn't though. I kept to the plan.

So the mirror got to me. But this morning I decided that I needed to "see" some change so I did measurements. I am very happy with the results.

Down another 4.25 inches over various body regions!! I'll take that. Another reminder that its working. I just have to stay the course. I will not be my own worst enemy anymore. I will not sabotage all my progress. It is progress, despite the long road ahead I have lost 21 pounds and lots (I haven't totaled up the inches) of inches.

So mirror do your best, I will push on. I have too.

{{Added about 2 minutes after posting!! I went to my journal and added up the inches lost~~~19 inches exactly~~~~YES, YES, YES)

I'm Going to ROCK August!!

August is going to be my MAKE IT BIG month! Or maybe I should say, make it smaller month! I plan breaking 300 this month! I will be, at least, 299 by the end of August. I haven't seen 299 since December 2007. Two and half years is a long time to be in the 300's.

Actually I want to be 299 by August 22. So 295 by the end of the month?? I'm kissing the 300's GOODBYE!!!!

I believe it is totally doable! Especially since this morning I weighed and I am down another 2 pounds making me 314.1! This is the lowest I've weighed in over a year!!!! That means I've lost 21 pounds since January (with a nearly four month hiatus in fitness)!!! WOO HOO!!! I am so excited!! It's these little milestones that keep you going to the next one.

I have joined HealthyLoserGal and other interwebbies in the Awesome August Challenge. I am excited and ready to see all that we accomplish!! If you want to join in and make August Awesome, for fun and fitness, click on the link and check it out!!

August is going to be AWESOME!