Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Digging My Heals In

Hello!! I am Joy. I am a very overweight mom and who wants to blog her way to a healthier lifestyle. I am on a journey. Won't you come join me, I know I need all the support I can get!

I am an Apostolic mom to three beautiful, funny, bright and super active kids. I don't want to be the mom I am now. The mom who can't go down the slide because her bum is too wide. The mom who can't run around the playground because her lungs might explode. I mean, I am a hefty gal and I would hate for the headlines to read, "Overweight mom has a heart attack playing soccer with her four year old". So it's time to put action to what I want to be, rather than sit on the sidelines and hope.

I have been over weight for as long as I can remember. I came from a loving and stable home. I liked to eat. I liked all the sweets and the starches (potatoes remain a favorite). I had lots of friends at school, but I also had lots of harassers. You know those mean kids who loved to point out that I was fat, chubby, fluffy or whatever you call it. As I grew older, like Junior High and High School, I have to say that life was difficult. I still had friends, but I was teased mercilessly by "the others". My heart was as heavy as my outside shell. I never told my parents. I never told anyone. No one except those kids who watched my humiliation knew anything was even being said to me. I learned that eating a chocolate bar eased my pain. By the time I graduated I was at my then, all time heaviest. I have now exceeded that. I went off to college and life was pretty good, but I still leaned on food and soda for stress relief. But college was good for me, because I was happy. I lost 34 pounds as a freshman and was down 4 dress sizes from the time I started school.

I met my now husband~~Amazing Man~~during the summer after my freshman year of college. We fell in love and married ten months after meeting. We had our first child a year and two months later. As life got stressful, I ate. And ate. And ate. And now 10 years and four kids later, I am at my all time heaviest. . . 325 pounds. I can't believe I just posted that. I used to say, I'll never get that big. Here I am, that big.

At the beginning of 2009, I had every intention of losing 100 pounds this year. Needless to say, I actually gained 10 pounds from the beginning of the year. I am taking control over my emotions. I am taking control over my addictions. I have known God in a personal way my whole life, I didn't need food to soothe me. I am tapping into God for a whole new purpose~~slaying my food addiction giant! I have faith for provision and healing and all sorts of things, but I never tapped into my faith for help in this area of my life.

I believe in the verse that says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me"~~Philippians 4:13. I know I can't do this myself. I have tried many times and failed. This time I am going to do this the right way, with God helping me.

My name is Joy. I weigh 325 pounds and I know I can't lose all this weight on my own. I hope you'll join me in this process of weeding through the hurt and food that got me here.

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