Monday, December 28, 2009

I'm Back and I'm More Determined Than Ever Before

I realize that I have been so inconsistent. I totally let things go the last part of this year. I ate and ate whatever I wanted, I drank enough soda to float a battle ship and my clothes got tighter and tighter. I now weigh over 330. I don't have an exact number because the Wii Fit only goes up to 330. I am feeling really angry right now that I let myself get like this. Am I letting the anger go? Absolutely not!! I am going to let that anger fuel my desire for a healthier life. I am not angry at my husband, or kids or anyone else. It's my fault, I let it happen. I allowed my stress and emotions to dictate my menu's and drink choices. I chose to eat that chocolate and tacos and nachos. No more. No stress or gooey white cheese is worth my health. No more guilt, just anger. Guilt makes me want a Hersey bar, anger makes me want to work out.

Tomorrow I'll be posting my plan for my weight loss journey. I am taking it 25 pound sections. The first 25 pounds is my goal. It's easier to focus on 1 25 pound increment at a time rather than look at it as needing to lose 175 pounds.

I started reading a new book and I really like it so far. It's called the One Day Way and the lady that wrote it has lost over 200 pounds and kept it off. The whole premise of the book is one day at a time. I'm not far in it yet to expound any more, but so far it's been about making the best day of today, not what we did yesterday or can do tomorrow. Focus on today. That's what I'm going to do. Focus on today. Today is what I have control over. Yesterday (last week, last month) is gone. Tomorrow isn't here yet. Today I can control.

It's going to be a good day.

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