Thursday, February 3, 2011


Failure. That word looms over me like a great storm cloud full of lightening ready to strike.

It's the biggest thing that hinders me. My fear of failure is what keeps me starting and stopping. I think it's because in the back of my head I don't really believe I can do it. I have ALWAYS been over weight. I have never been thin or even just chubby. Since for as long as I can remember I have been overweight.

I haven't blogged for a long time but I have been dieting. I am currently at 310. I just can't seem to get past 300. I am afraid of failing. It's been easier to just stop trying rather than fail. There is just something so frustrating about exercising through the pain, eating veggies until they come out my ears and the scale not move.

But this time I have decided that if I fail I will fail fighting. I will fight for health for as long as it takes. Quitting isn't an option. I must fight for my health.

So failure can loom overheard if it wants, but it won't get the chance to rain today.